I'm reading this book that's really touched my heart. I don't want to go into that right now, so I'll save it for another blog. But one thing she suggests, is writing a letter to your former self. The idea is that when you address yourself in the past you realize how much you really have changed. I thought that sounded kinda cheesy , but then I really thought about it... If I could go back and talk to myself when I was 20 years old...what would I say? What could I possibly say that would have had any bearing on me?

I had a lot of trouble writing it in the form of a letter. I kinda felt like a weirdo. So I just made a list.. Maybe I really wouldn't be so screwed up now if someone had told me these things.. of course, they probably did...*LOL*
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1.) Tell the truth. TELL THE TRUTH. TELL THE TRUTH. Even when it hurts like hell and its scary. It all comes out in the wash.

2.) Seek out God, or something to believe in. If you have that- hang onto it and nurture it and learn to live in it. It doesn't seem important when you are young sometimes...you think you have time to find that later.. but trust me there will be a huge void in your life. And you will recognize it the faces of the people around you who DO have that and start to realize they are much happier people because of it.

3.) Love your parents. They aren't perfect, but they are about the ONLY people who will love you when you aren't either.

4.) Broken families, bad situations, whatever.. they aren't excuses to live your life recklessly.

5.) GET AN EDUCATION. DO NOT think you aren't smart enough or that you're incapable. You will see when you are older that there are a ton of people with fancy degrees that are compete idiots and screw ups... SO..you better get yours too or YOU will be working for THEM one day.

6.) Respect your elders.

7.) Keep your family close, you will be glad you did.

8.) Love your siblings, don't fight with them. Most of the time they are the only people in the world who are genetically,behaviorally and emotionally built like you.

9.) Don't ever think you have everything figured out. The Gods of change will knock your feet smooth out from under you.

10.) Don't EVER EVER get in a relationship where addiction is involved. EVEN if it's your own. It's doomed from the start.

11.) Take care of your body. Everything you are doing now..in your early 20's will be visible in another 10 years. Drinking , drugs, eating bad foods, lack of exercise..you name it. Trust me!

12.) Don't look for a man to fix you. You can't fix him either. accept each other AS you are or you might as well hang it up.

13.) Be a person of character, people will NOT forget the things you are doing now and the choices you are making. People are less forgiving as you get older. Trust and faith is hard to get back once you lose it ( believe me)

14.) FLOSS! FLOSS your ASS off *L*

15.) You cant expect people to forgive you for things you can't forgive yourself for. DO IT and move along!

16.) Suffer the consequences of your actions (SHEW! I MAY BE DOING THIS FOR A LONG TIME) don't whine about it or expect immediate gratification simply because you are sorry. You reap what you sew.

17.) Don't ever be one of those stupid people (which I have been) that think or even SAY "What I do with my life or body doesn't effect anyone but myself". That's a selfish way of thinking and you are selling people in your life short, where their love for you is concerned. OF COURSE it effects everyone that loves you.

18.) Say I love you.

19.) Be patient.

20.) PRAY.

21.) Dont try to hide the stupid shit you've done. Yeah it's probably embarrasing and you hate it but dont go stuffing all that inside. Wear that shit like like a badge *L* Thats one less life lesson you have to learn.

22.) Try really HARD to control your negative thoughts, I truly believe you can will bad things to happen sometimes.

23.) Don't lose yourself inside of other people. Figure out what makes you tick.

24.) You can NOT raise the dead.

25.) Accept that there are some things you may NEVER have the answers to. Don't spend 10 years spiraling out of control cause of something you can't make sense out of..cause that doesn't make much sense either.

26.) God says no a lot. Get over it. Ask for something different.

27.) DON'T waste your tears. They are precious and cleansing, and the purest expression of your heart. Don't waste them on people who don't deserve them.

I guess the last thing I'd tell myself is "You are going to be O.K."